Yesterday, I ate cake for lunch. And it wasn’t one of those grain-free, dairy-free, sugar-free healthy paleo cakes either. Nope, it was LOADED with refined sugar, white flour, and cream cheese. Why you ask? Because it was Mother’s Day and I decided to choose people over self.
When my mom showed me the recipe for this delectable Lemon Raspberry Cake, I must admit I cringed at the astronomical amount of sugar it called for and began brainstorming all of the ingredients I could modify to make it healthier. Yet, with just one look at my mom’s face and I knew she wanted to enjoy this cake in its full glory, no substitutions. And so we did!
So why am I telling you this?
Because this simple act of eating a piece of sugar-laden cake was actually a moment of great victory for me! Let me explain…
Once upon a time, I lived off of Pop-Tarts, Toaster Strudels, and Pizza Rolls. If you know me now, maybe that’s hard for you to believe, but processed convenience foods was just the norm in my family growing up. It was easy, fast, and cheap. However, this kind of food was not nourishing my young body and eventually it began to show. Fast forward to my 8th grade year when my love for junk food was overshadowed by my damaged self-esteem and growing insecurity about the extra pounds I carried on my adolescent frame. The fear of being seen as unlovable drove me to make some major changes.
I began reading about nutrition and jumped into my health journey without looking back. Within a few months I managed to lose 45 pounds and I truly felt like a new person! Everything was great, until it wasn’t.
As the initial excitement of my weight-loss accomplishment began to dissipate, I realized that what I started in my own strength, I now had to maintain in my own strength. But the problem was my resolve was wearing thin. The fear and body shame that first drove me into pursuing healthy changes now lacked enough intensity to safeguard me in moments of temptation, and I began to justify…
“I have eaten so well today, I’ve earned some dessert.”
“It’s been a hard day, so I deserve this pizza.”
“I don’t eat cookies very often, so it’s fine if I have 5 or 6.”
By God’s grace, I am now able to reflect back and understand that the problem was never my permissive attitude towards letting myself have a treat. Rather, it was the heart posture from which I reconciled these allowances. You see, my relationship with food has traversed a broad spectrum over the years. I have eaten cake out of gluttony. I have denied cake out of fear. I have even eaten cake to suppress the emotions of guilt that follow gluttony (which never actually works by the way). BUT yesterday, I ate cake from a selfless desire to love my mom and a spirit anchored in freedom!
1 Corinthians 6:12 teaches us that, “All things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial.” This truth has empowered me so much in my pursuit of health and wholeness, reminding me that I have been granted the freedom to eat cake when I choose. Yet, Galatians 5:1 reminds me that “It is FOR FREEDOM that Christ has set us free.” Christ did not lovingly sacrifice Himself on the cross for me to stay shackled to feelings of fear, or to let shame keep me in bondage to a cycle of emotional eating. Nor did He give up His life so that I could abuse His grace by binge eating foods that will break down the miraculous designed body He has given me to care for. Friend, Jesus willingly laid His life down for you and for me so that we could live from a place of freedom in body, mind, and spirit.
So go ahead, eat cake for lunch. But only if it is leading you into freedom.